As the new year rolls in, here come the lists of resolutions! There are resolutions about health, finances and being “the change you want to see.” Losing weight, getting on a budget and spending time doing volunteer work are top commitments we often hear from our friends and family. Now, with a world still in a pandemic and spending time confined in place, love is making a grand appearance to this list. Yes, that big, scary word that means sharing your flaws and fears with someone special, hoping they will love you back.
Previously, you have been down this love path. You were all in and discovered that your love interest was not who they claimed to be. Your heart was shattered and you don’t know if you can rebound or learn to trust someone new. Guess what? YOU CAN BEGIN AGAIN.
The first step is making sure you are healed enough to date. That means you have allowed the baggage of the past to be eradicated from your life. Your conversation doesn’t linger on how poorly you had been treated, how they should be miserable for the rest of their life or that he/she will hurt their next partner. Healing looks like GRATITUDE. Gratitude that you were able to walk away. Gratitude that time has allowed you to reflect upon what you are worthy of from a partner. Gratitude that shows up in the words from your mouth that are life giving and affirmative on how you deserve to be loved.
Secondly, be mindful of the people who get your time. Not just love partners, but friends and family. People in your circle should be whole, kind and add value to your life. If you are surrounded by negative, gossiping and miserable people, it’s time to serve an eviction notice! Somehow you have attracted people that take away from where you are going in life. As politely as you can, thank them for who they had been to you. Let them know it is time for you to move in a new direction of truth on who you want to be.
Finally, with healthy connections around you, make yourself available to new experiences. Join a group that shares your interests for jogging or being creative. Join a book club, even virtually, and make a commitment to learn about at least one person in the group to start building a friendship. Enjoy a concert with an unusual style of music for you, such as classical music or 80’s pop. To be new, you must try new things. Take a risk by opening your life.
Beginning again is very possible, no matter how much we have gone through in life. Work on being whole, eliminate the people who do more subtracting than adding and make new moments. Love may seem daunting, but when it is lovingly and openly reciprocated, it is well worth the investment.