There are people in our lives that believe it is their job to dictate to you what level of happiness you can enjoy. Have you ever heard yourself say, “If I do/don’t do this, he will be mad at me?” Or, “I’m not really interested in being a part of this any longer but I don’t want people to be mad at me.” Truth be told, we all know people that are never satisfied. They want more and more while giving less or nothing at all.
If you have ever been in a situation like this, and not willingly, this blog is for you.
From this point forward, I want you to imagine that you are in a league of your own. In this league, you get to decide what is important to you and what your value system looks like. The league has people who are worthy of standing next to your life because they are clear that your value is invaluable. Did you get a visual list? If your list is chock full of NOBODY or there are clearly people that are on it but don’t really need to be, your league needs new players!
Understand that this league is YOU and how YOU feel about YOU. Do you value people that are honest? Do you want to be surrounded by people who don’t gossip? Is giving less than your best in friendships/love relationships something that you never bring to the table but it shows up for dinner at your house? Then you have allowed your league and its worth to be skewed. How do you fix that? Disassociate with liars. Tell the people in your circle that gossip irritates you and it’s not a feature found in good character. And for goodness sake, release yourself from people who think it’s their job to be on the receiving end of all good things you, yet, they bring nothing but the need for migraine medicine!
It’s a scary notion that you have the RIGHT to expect how your life gets filled and with what type of people. But that is the truth! Let go of the idea that your friend from elementary school has to stay a part of your life because of “history.” Especially if that history shows that they don’t know the events in your life that warrant a phone call because it’s a tough day on your calendar. Your league has participants that you invite to the room. And if your room desires laughter and kindness and reciprocal care, get a pen and paper and list who deserves to be there. If the list is limited, that’s okay. It just means that it’s time to get on the task of gathering people that bring side-splitting giggles, a thoughtful card because it’s Tuesday and that ever important shoulder to lean on because they can look at you and know you have had a rough day.
Do the work to take the inventory. And let the inventory mean something to you because it represents you. It’s your league. And that league doesn’t need permission to be great. It just needs you.