We have all been there. We have fallen in love. We have found a relationship that seems to be good for us and has us on cloud nine. Our partner makes us smile and we have tingly feelings when we think about sharing our day or conversation with them. Then the tide turns. You continue to provide love, support and great intimacy but a shift has taken place in them. You are now faced with calls or texts not answered or plain abandonment/alienation of affection. When you try to confront it, you are told that you are imagining things. Or, worse yet, treated harshly with verbal abuse. You ask yourself, “What happened to the love?” A better question to ask is, “What am I going to allow to happen to my worth?”
We all want to feel loved and supported. We want to know the affection and adoration of another human being. But at what cost? There comes a point in which you must decide whether the love you are giving and not receiving in return is your partner determining that your value is not as high as they need to know that it is. But how do they get that memo unless you send it out?
The way to establish this public service announcement is to first examine the truth about how you feel about yourself. Do you actively promote your self-worth? Are you mindful of how you treat yourself so that others can see how it should be done? Your first assignment is to do an honest evaluation of who you believe you are and what value you place on yourself. If you notice that you have poor self-care or allow yourself to talk with self-deprecating language, you must own your part. You are aiding and abetting in this being the message that this is the way the world believes you deserve to be treated.
Remember to remind yourself that while a shared love is good, the first person that needs your love is YOU. Treat yourself well. Speak highly of the quality person that you are and celebrate yourself for others to see. Once you master self-love, nobody will have the opportunity to be confused. But should they ever be, your worth will rise and saying goodbye will be as easy as loving you has become.
